Thru our eyes we see the World

My eyes are my history. They contain the archives of all my memories. Eyes wide open or shut tight, I can still see them, the faces and places I have loved, shared with people long gone -- Shanie, my first childhood love; Shereen, the girl who I really adored and would do anything for, Selena, the girl that was most suited for me; Joann, the girl that I truly loved, a more recent loss. She appears ever so often, across my vision, the movie screen of my memory, my eyeballs.

They are astonishing, these eyes of ours. They are scavengers, promiscuous; they roam everywhere, taking their pictures, sending them up the most sophisticated neural pathways to the brain, where they are processed and stored. Things loved: that father. Young, older, heartbroken. A zillion pictures.And in the foreground: a traveling companion, a dog, a sister, a lover.

We talk of love at first sight. Is there really such a thing? Both men and women attest to it, using their eyes to scan -- even inhale -- each other on first sighting. But do they see the same thing, react to the same cues? It is always said that men are more visual, more reactive to physical attributes.

And women? I don't think they are any less visually aroused.

Xu Gao Hua

Over two-thirds or 75% of divorces are initiated by women

It's a sign of troubling times and an effect of the aftermath of women liberation. This scary statistic points out that world-wide, over two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. Take the latest case of high profiler and celebrity accomplished singer and "actress" Madonna.

It is surprising to note that the most common cause for a divorce or split in a relationship is not due to infidelity or abuse but rather a feeling that there isn't a sense of connection. So if you are really worried about this disturbing fact and at the same time think that you're an okay man to live with, check and nurture that connection periodically. It is advisable as a man to learn to listen to your wife without getting defensive. It's a common rule of communication, "when somebody feels they are being heard, they are much more receptive to what the other have to say".

And taking that in stride and with Madonna in mind, when it's too late to save your relationship, consult a good lawyer to figure out the range of your potential obligations to avoid continued fighting. The solution is to negotiate rather than fight. It is crucial to have the capacity to understand where she is coming from. But if you do have the capacity to understand, you would not be at this last stage of the game would you?